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The life of a porn addicted housewife.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Free At Last - Or Am I? 

You would think that after working at the same place for over 17 years you would be able to take a few days off and still remember what to take to work with you when you go back right?
Evidently that is not the case where Ap0k is concerned.
He went back to work this morning after being off since Wednesday. I have been at his beck and call, 24 hours a day, since then. When he left this morning I said to myself, “Self, you are free to do whatever you want now!” I decided reading was a good idea.
He wasn’t even gone an hour when he called and gave me a list of stuff he forgot to take with him.
So I got dressed, and drove all the way across town (in the rain), then turned around and came back.
I did stop at the grocery store on the way back so at least I got that out of the way.

Monday, May 30, 2005

One Of A Kind *Works For Now* 

“One Of A Kind (Love Affair)” was released by the Spinners on their Self Titled album in 1972. I was only 7 at the time so no; I did not buy the original. Knowing my mother though, I am pretty sure she bought it.

The Spinners started their career right out of high school in the late 50’s as a do-wop group called The Domingoes. In the 60’s they changed their name to The Detroit Spinners. The group changed to a more R&B style of music when their record company was bought out by Motown. Unfortunately Motown paid little attention to the group and dropped them after 2 years in 1972.
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The group was picked up by Atlantic Records and placed under the care of producer Thom Bell who took the group to the top of the charts.
The group has gone through several lead singers, but pretty much all of the hits that The Spinners had came when Phillipe Wynne was in the lead spot. His smooth voice was perfectly suited for the soul style the group is known for. Wynne left the group
Between 1972 and 1977 The Spinners released a number of hits including “Games People Play”, “Rubberband Man”, “Could It Be I’m Falling In Love”, and “I’ll Be Around”.
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Wynne left the group in 1977 and while the group had a few hits afterwards such as “Working My Way Back To You”, their most well known, best selling work came while he was still with them.
Wynne had a good solo career after he left. His albums never sold well, but his concerts were always hits. Sadly Phillipe Wynne died of a heart attack in 1984.
The Spinners are still working the oldies circuit today, so you still have a chance to see them live.
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I highly recommend adding the double CD One Of A Kind Love Affair: The Anthology to your collection. You’ll find that there was no soul group any better than The Spinners, including The Temptations. Take a look at the track list and you’ll be amazed at the songs you recognize.
Of course everyone knows the Office Max commercials featuring “Rubberband Man”. Well I guess if you don’t live in the US you might not have seen them. You can go HERE to see the whole series. They are without a doubt some of my favorite commercials ever.
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Trying another new host because the last one bit the dust.
Hope this one holds up for a bit!

Sunday, May 29, 2005

My Kingdom For A Schedule! 

Ap0k got to take his first shower since his surgery today.
Well actually I had to give him a shower. It’s pretty hard to do it yourself when you can’t move one of your arms and you can’t get your bandages wet.
For the last 2 days I’ve been washing him with baby butt wipes.
Giving him a shower is not the easiest thing in the world to do by any means. He is so much bigger than I am! I will say that there are some parts of him that I totally love washing (blush.)

I’ve been trying to understand how he feels right now, but I guess if you’ve never had your bones cut off and ground down then you will never know the real pain. He’s already stopped taking the Vicodin. With both this surgery and the last one in January he only took the pain pills for 2 days then refused to take any more. You have to understand though that this is the man who even refuses to take aspirin even when he has a massive headache. He doesn’t drink, he has never smoked, and he has never taken drugs of any kind. Pain killers to him are evil incarnate.

He’s getting better at getting himself dressed. He’s wearing shorts this time because it’s warm. The last time it was cold and getting him into jeans is not the simplest of things. He can get loose t-shirts on, but that’s about it. Heck, he can’t even get his underwear on himself. Needless to say I have to put on his shoes and socks too. I don’t know why he can’t tie his shoes with only one hand. LOL!

I know he is getting bored though because he jumped at the chance to go to Sam’s Club with me this afternoon. I hate going there! I love the stuff, but I hate the mass of people that are always there. How come people seem to loose there minds in warehouse stores? There’s no need to push and shove, the store has plenty of crap for everyone!
I have to keep an eye on Ap0k right now. The more bored he gets, the more money he wants to spend. I am in fear of eBay at the moment!

Our daughter and her boyfriend came over again today. They have no money so they look to us for entertainment. The funny thing is they seem perfectly happy to just sit here with us watching garbage on TV. That can’t be fun for people their age! We ended up giving them some money and sending them up to Ybor City. Everyone needs some fun now and then.

Today is Sunday at last. I had four Saturdays in a row this week.
Normally, during the week, the lady across the street and I are the only ones on our street that are home during the day. Of course Ap0k was home Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, but for some reason half the street was home too. I am so out of sync with time. To make matters worse, there has also been no discernable “sleep times” either. We have been sleeping on and off at odd hours for days. When Ap0k goes back to work on Tuesday I will be at a total loss schedule-wise, and you know I am a stickler for a schedule.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Carmen *NSFW* 

Mr. Hilton pointed me to this photograph of Carmen Electra.
The original photograph was taken by Sheryl Nields.
The photograph is one of many included in the soon to be released book 4 Inches by Elton John.
The book contains a collection of celebrities who bared all to be photographed for inclusion. At least a portion of the book sales will go to the Elton John AIDS Foundation.
The book will be available May 30th.
I have seen some of the other photos from the book (Nicky Hilton, Kelis, Victoria Beckham, Pam Anderson, Kate Moss, Elle McPherson) and each one was fantastic. I can’t wait to see the entire book!

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I am absolutely in love with the way this photo has been edited.

Friday, May 27, 2005

My Fantasy Wardrobe 

I thought it would be fun to show you my fantasy wardrobe.
You can click on any thumbnail to see a larger picture.

Let’s start with the footwear because I could develop a shoe fetish in about 30 seconds.

These are 6” high. That would make me well over six feet tall. I would probably break my leg trying to walk on spikes like this.
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These shoes are similar in style, but they have a cute little bow on them.
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I really prefer the heels on these shoes because they look a lot more stable. I love the straps on these also!
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I love the combination of these shoes with the long socks. Terribly sexy!
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Now we move on to boots which are my real love.
This first pair is calf high.
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I love love love these boots. They have great heels. I want a black pair AND a white pair.
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Even though these boots have spikier heels than I am comfortable with, the buckles make them my favorite.
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Now you can’t just wear shoes. Well I guess you could, but I think it would be more fun if you wore clothes like these too.

This retro style pants suit is gorgeous. A bit blinding perhaps, so it would be best to wear it at night.
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Speaking of retro, this dress is HOT!
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What would a fantasy wardrobe be without a black PVC catsuit?
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When you’re feeling a bit country this cowgirl outfit would kick some serious ass. Of course the boots are a must have!
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I can’t think of anything Ap0k would like more than me actually dressed like a serving wench!!
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Another outfit I think Ap0k would like is this Pit stop Girl uniform. Knowing him, he would probably want me to wear it outside when he works on his car.
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Personally I think that this outfit would suit me to a T. I would definitely replace the shoes though. I HATE pointy toed shoes!!!
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This is quite possibly the cutest outfit ever made. While it doesn’t “match” me in any way, I would still love to have it.
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And finally, I would have loved to have gotten this outfit before Ap0k had his surgery. It would be so appropriate right now. The only problem is that I am afraid he would tear his staples out from the giant fit of laughter he would have.
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Now, if I could only work up the nerve to actually WEAR clothes like this. Of course I would only wear them in the house. I have always been afraid that Ap0k would think it was silly though. I’m not sure WHY I feel like that.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

I've Been Book Tagged! 

I was “book tagged” by W.S. Cross!
What is book tagging you ask?
Well as W.S. puts it, it is a literary chain mail basically. You have to answer the 4 questions given and then “tag” 5 other bloggers.

Here are the questions, along with my answers:

1. Total number of books you’ve owned: This one is impossible for me to answer. I was learned to read when I was only 4 years old. My mother would take me to the library several times a week, and I never left without a little green Beatrix Potter book. I moved on as rapidly as I could, reading every book I could get my hands on. I was born to haunt used book stores. My first real collection was old Nancy Drew books. I went for the originals, not the reprints. I actually still have them all in a bookshelf right next to this desk. Since then my book collection has grown dramatically. I have 3 large bookcases full and they are piled everywhere. Once I buy a book it never leaves my house again.

2. Last Book I Bought: The Winds Of Change written by Martha Grimes. This is a Richard Jury mystery. No idea what it’s about as I haven’t read it yet. I am sure I will like it because she has never done me wrong in the past.

3. Last Book I Read: This one is much easier! “Conspiracy Theory written by Jane Haddam. It is a mytery “starring” Gregor Demarkian. Jane Haddam’s books are extremely well written and very topical. Conspiracy Theory deals with “America On Alert”, a group of people who believe that 13 families rule the world and are working towards a One World Government. Well worth the read, as are all of her books.

4. 5 Books That Mean Something To Me:
A: The Complete Tales Of Beatrix Potter. The first stories I learned to read by myself.
B. Nancy Drew – The Secret Of The Old Clock written by Carolyn Keene. This is the book that started my collecting obsession.
C. Judge Me Not written by John D. MacDonald. The book that introduced me to one of, if not THE, greatest pulp-fiction novelists.
D. Green Eggs And Ham by the great Dr. Suess. I loved listening to Ap0k read this book to our daughter when she was little. It was a nightly ritual.
E. A Wrinkle In Time written by Madeleine L'Engle. Published in 1973 when I was 8 years old. This is the book that introduced me to science fiction.

5. Tag 5 People:

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

The One Million Dollar Nurse 

What would you do if you were handed a check for one million dollars?

If I were to win a million dollars, the very first thing I would do is faint dead away.
After resuscitation I would shut my mouth! I wouldn’t tell ANYONE including Ap0k for the time being.

The very first thing I would do is buy Ap0k a new Porsche 911. He has always wanted one, and surprising him with the car and telling him I had won the money would be too fun. I would hold off on buying myself a new vehicle for awhile because there is absolutely nothing wrong with the truck I have now. I would probably get it a new paint job I guess.

Next I would start looking for a new house. I would stay in the same area of course, but a larger house with a 3-car garage and a separate workshop would be awesome.
While looking for a new house I would be having this one renovated by professionals. When complete I would give this house to my daughter and my litter sister to share.

Once I found a new house for the 2 of us, I would become a shopping fool. I would furnish it with all of the nifty things I’ve always wanted.
*The Whirlpool front loading washer and dryer I drool over every time I see them. My current laundry room is a small room attached to our carport. I couldn’t make myself pay that much for them now when I would have to keep them out there.
*A regulation size pool table. I used to be on a league and I miss playing.
*A 60” or larger television. The bigger the better I always say. With the way Ap0k loves his movies, a giant screen TV would be great.
*A professional chef style stove and oven. It has always been my dream to have a professional style kitchen. I really like to cook, but have never had the room it takes in reality.
*A spa and sauna. For some reason Ap0k has always wanted these. The spa I could see, but there is no way on earth you would get me in the sauna. I am way too claustrophobic for that!

I can’t think of much else, which I guess is a good thing. With all of the stuff I want it would have to have a petty big house. Maybe I should rethink the spa and sauna! That seems a tad extravagant doesn’t it?
OK, I got carried away there with my wish list. Though in all honesty, the majority of it I would still get. Maybe not the pool table though.

I would buy new clothes for me, Ap0k, daughter, and little sister. I might buy daughter and little sister each a new car. That would depend on how they had been acting.

I would put the rest of the money (what little is left) in the bank for a rainy day.

Hmmmmm, this has been a pretty stupid post.

Ap0k is having surgery tomorrow. That means I get to play nurse for the next few days. I won’t be able to sleep in the same bed with him either. Boooooo!!!!!

Why do I feel like my medication is on overdrive?

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Conflicts - Are They For Everyone? 

Stacie has said that it appears I have no conflicts in my life.

*Should I paint the living room walls yellow with an orange accent wall, or should I paint the whole room dark orange with stark white trim?

*Should I continue to fork over money to my daughter and my little sister, or should I let them flounder a bit for awhile like Ap0k and I had to do?

*Should I start going to the gym now, or should I wait until I am done with the house?

*Should I stock up on hurricane supplies during the tax-free week starting June 1st, or should I not worry about it because nothing ever seems to happen here?

*Should I get up early tomorrow and mow the lawn, or should I wait and pay my nephew to mow it this weekend?

*Should I curl my hair, or should I leave it straight?

*Should I get my inside cats declawed before I buy new furniture, or it that too mean?

*Should I wake Ap0k up and give him a blowjob since he is having surgery Wednesday morning and this will probably be his last chance for a couple weeks, or should I let him sleep since he has to get up at 5am?

While these conflicts are not earth shattering or mind boggling, they are conflicts none the less. Conflicts come in many sizes, shapes, and colors. What is trivial to one person may be terribly important to another. Stacie is correct in that my conflicts are not very interesting to other people. On the other hand, some people’s conflicts seem pretty ridiculous to me. That’s the beauty of blogging in my opinion. You get to see life from so many different people’s perspectives. In a world of turmoil, this is my little place of peace. I would hope that there are some people out there who like to hear that not everyone’s life is a roller coaster of ups and downs.

But hey, if I do have any problems, you guys will be the first to hear about them!


I want to say a special thank you to Stacie, Tommy, Bryna, Zen Angel, RA67, metalordie, and all of the rest of you for your continuing support. Your comments brighten always brighten my day.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Manners - Does Your Mother Know You Talk Like That? 

What is it about the internet that turns normal people into complete asses?

I frequent several forums, and in each one of them I have run across some of the nastiest, most vile people you could imagine.
It seems that some of these people will leave rude, crude, and generally nasty comments to any post or poster around for no apparent reason. If you say the sky is blue, they will immediately call you names and say the sky is green and you must be an idiot for not knowing that.
If you say a book is good, they say it is the worst book written. If you say that someone is pretty, they say that person is ugly. And heaven forbid you should say anything even remotely political. These people will rip you to shreds.

What makes a person do this? Do they do this in “real life” too? Somehow I doubt it.
What joy is there in cutting people down? What makes a person happy when they are belittling other posters? Does it make them feel important? Does it make them feel special? Are their lives so sad that they feel the need to hurt someone else in order to make themselves feel better?

It’s not just forums I see this on. I have seen many replies like this on people’s blogs too. Just the other day someone left a comment to one of MG’s blog posts that was very hurtful. It also made no sense. It would be bad enough if these types of replies were written intelligently, but for the most part they are very badly written. Poor grammar and atrocious spelling seems to be the norm with these people.

What I find funny is that this almost never happens on porn-related forums. On the porn forum I administer there has only been one offender, and he only acted that way when he was drunk. In the end we had to ban him for his actions. Where I do see it is on mainstream forums dealing with celebrities, movies, books, politics, etc. It also seems that women are some of the worst offenders. Of course there are plenty of men who do it too, but the women I see acting this way are a different breed all together. Women are the worst because they seem to flip attitudes between posts. On one post they may be sweet as pie, but on the next one they are pure vinegar. While men tend to act one way, women have many faces. I prefer knowing what I am walking into when reading a reply rather than being surprised.

The internet as a whole would be a much nicer place if people treated other people with respect. Would you walk into someone’s house and treat them like dirt? If not, then why would you do it on a forum or on a blog? In the end it really is the same thing. You are not belittling random words on a screen. You are belittling a living breathing person who has never done anything to hurt you.

Before anyone says anything, I am not advocating the whole “one thought” rule. What I am saying is that if you disagree with what someone has said then present your side respectfully. Instead of swearing at someone, take a breath and write out your thoughts in an intelligent manner.

It’s simple. As in real life, speak to others as you wish to be spoken to. It’s one of the first rules your parents taught you.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Star Wars: Revenge Of The Fire Alarms 

Ap0k and I went to see Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith this afternoon. We went up to the Muvico Theater in Ybor because there are rarely kids at that one. We sure seem to be spending a lot of time in Ybor lately! There is another theater just as close to our house, but it seems to be full of screaming pushy teenagers no matter when you go. Ugh!
We got there a little to late for the showing we were aiming for so we got tickets to a later show and wandered around a bit.

When it was time, we went back up (the theater is on a second level) and dawdled our way to our seats. The movie started on time and the theater was pretty full. Not sold out like I anticipated though.

About 15 minutes into the movie the fire alarms went off! Crap!

Everyone in the entire theater (20 screens) had to get up and go outside. No one panicked or anything which was good. We stood outside for around 20 or so minutes. A fire truck showed up but there was no fire to be seen. So back in we all went. Amazingly it appeared that everyone went back to their original seats. They started the movie back up where we left off and everyone was happy enough.

Now it is another 15 minutes later and the fire alarm goes off AGAIN! This time no one wanted to get up because the movie was at a good point. Finally a couple people got up and went out, but they came right back in and said they were told it was a false alarm. So there we sat, trying to hear the movie while the fire alarm was going off. Then poof, they shut the movie off again. Everyone moaned and groaned, and we all got up and went into the lobby. We were all told that it was a false alarm and that the movies would all be restarted at their beginnings in 7 minutes.
Back we go into the theater. Again everyone gets their same seats back, only this time a lot of people have given up and left. The movie starts back up, but not at the beginning like we were told, it started where we left off, which to me was fine.

This time we actually got to finish the movie with no more fire alarms!

I won’t go into the details of the movie as I don’t want to spoil anything for those who haven’t seen it.

Let me first say that while I am a HUGE fan of the original trilogy, I am not a fan of the first two episodes of this new trilogy. They contain too much fluff, too much “love-story”, and I think that Hayden Christensen was a very poor choice to play Skywalker/Vader. He is too young, too pretty, and not near forceful enough to be believable in my opinion.

However, I did like this last movie. Not as much as the original three, but definitely more than the last two.
Hayden is still the wrong actor for the part, but since there is nothing that can be done about that I just dealt with it.
The story line is good, not too much fluff this time. I have to say that the ending had me tensed up in my seat. Yes, the ending was worth the wait.

I give the movie a good solid “B” rating.

Oh, one thing I will say is…..Yoda kicks ASS!!!!

7 Kinds Of Heaven 

Ap0k changed my desktop modem today to a wireless one. Both laptops were already wireless, so changing the desktop is going to let me get rid of the wires strung across the ceiling. The only problem has been that now I can’t keep mIRC connected for some reason. mIRC stays connected on the laptops, so it should stay connected on this one. Ap0k says he will look into it in the morning.

I’m back. Got interrupted by a dead battery of all things. I got a phone call from my little sister saying that my uncle and my cousin were up in Ybor with a dead battery in their car. I knew it wasn’t good news when the phone rang at 15 minutes to midnight. No one ever calls me that late unless something is wrong. I was volunteered to go give them a jump since I live closest to where they were. Ap0k was already in bed, but when I told him I was going he insisted on getting up and going with me. All it took was about 10 seconds to get his car started. We followed him home (he only lives 2 blocks from me) and here I am again.

Nothing much else happened today really.
Oh, I did get a completely fabulous massage!!! We have this big massager that will send you into 7 kinds of heaven and Ap0k took after me with it this afternoon.
By the time he was done I felt like I had melted right into the bed. I was supposed to do him next, but in about 30 seconds of him finishing I went into a coma. The next thing I knew it was almost an hour later. It had gotten dark and I was freezing. I don’t even remember falling asleep. You have to love massages like that.

I think Ap0k is going to give one of our trucks to our daughter. I hope so; I am tired of seeing it sit in my yard. Now if we can only get rid of the other extra truck and the extra car. Anyone need a new ride?

I know that there was something I wanted to write about tonight, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was! I hate it when that happens. I hope it wasn’t important!

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Precious Things 

Do you have any possessions that you can’t get rid of? Things that you could never bear to part with? Items that someone would have to break your arms to get them away from you?

Here is my list of priceless possessions, in no particular order:

1. My change cup. My daughter made me a decorated change cup when she was 5 years old (she’s 19 now.) It is a Styrofoam cup decorated with dolls cut out of wrapping paper, buttons, and yarn. It still sits on my desk to this day. Ap0k puts his loose change in it, and when it’s full I dump it in the bog change box.
2. My stuffed mountain goat. It is the very first thing Ap0k ever gave to me. He’s the cutest thing, all hairy with neat little horns. I had known him only a couple of days when he gave it to me.
3. All of my daughter’s kindergarten work. I have a box full of all of the work she brought home from kindergarten. Art papers, math, her first spelling test (she got a 100%!), everything. She didn’t even realize that I still had the box until about 2 weeks ago. She was surprised!
4. My wedding and engagement rings. They belonged to Ap0k’s grandmother. His ring was his grandfather’s. He proposed to me in the middle of the woods in North Florida. It was the most romantic thing EVER! To add to the specialness, the rings fit me perfectly. No adjustment was needed at all. They were meant for my hand. Actually if someone wanted to steal them they would literally have to cut my finger off. Somehow, about 10 years ago, I managed to slightly flatten the bottom of my wedding ring. Now it won’t slide over my knuckle. It hasn’t been off since then.
5. My Ernie Banks signed baseball. For a born and bred Cubs fan, what could be cooler than a ball signed by Mr. Cub himself? It’s in a nice little display box and sits on my desk.
6. Most of my books. I have shelves and shelves and stacks and stacks of books. While there are a few I could part with, for the most part they have to stay. I have spent too many years collecting them to ever get rid of them. Some are pretty much irreplaceable.
7. The structural and civil plans for Raymond James Stadium. That is the biggest job I ever did without a doubt. Once in a while I get the plans out and marvel at them. It may sound odd, but just looking at bits of them bring back really strong memories.
8. My camera. This may sound like an odd one, but I have never had such a nice camera before. It takes the most amazing pictures and videos. I have a 1 gig memory card to go with it so there are plenty of pictures to be taken. On our Chicago trip I took 325 pictures at 2576x1932 and almost 45 minutes worth of video and I still had 300MB of space left on the card. It also has a photo printer that makes photoshop quality prints. Goodness, I sound like a salesman for Kodak!
9. My computers. I would die without them I think. When I only had one and I would screw it up I would go through serious withdrawal until Ap0k could get home to fix it. Now that I have the laptop too I just switch back and forth between them. Life is gooooooood!

I am going to stop the list here. I am sure if I thought about it I could come up with more, but these things are my favorites. So paws off!!!

What are YOUR most prized possessions?

Friday, May 20, 2005

Come On Baby 

I went for a more novelty-type song today. I am not expecting many comments on it because you guys only seem to comment on the more popular 80’s pop music. That kind of tells me something about you.

I give you……The Fat Boys!!!!

The Twist (Yo Twist) was supposedly released in 1987 by The Fat Boys on the album Crushin’. I say supposedly because I went through their entire discography several times and the song only shows up on their greatest hits album All Meat No Filler: The Best of Fat Boys for some reason.
The group paired up with Chubby Checker to remake his classic dance song. In my opinion it is a MUCH better version than the original.
Give the song a chance. It starts out like the original and then veers off into something totally different. I just played it for my daughter and her boyfriend and they both rolled their eyes and called me a dork. That’s how I know this song is great!!

The Fat Boys started out as The Disco 3. They won a talent contest at Radio City Music Hall in 1983. Kurtis Blow took them under his wing and after a good dinner one night they were renamed The Fat Boys.
The Fat Boys, Mark "Prince Markie Dee" Morales, Damon "Kool Rock-Ski" Wimbley and Darren "Buff the Human Beat Box" Robinson had several hit songs such as “Can You Feel It” (which they play on the radio around here all of the time), “Wipe Out” with the Beach Boys, and “The Fat Boys Are Back” among others.
In 1989 the group starred in the movie Disorderlies which was very funny in a lame sort of way. It’s one of those movies that you love even though it’s stupid.
Sadly Darren Robinson passed away in December of 1995 following a massive heart attack.
Mark Morales is currently a producer for such artists as Mary J. Blige, 50 Cent, J-Lo, and others.
I have no clue what happened to Damon Wimbley. I can’t find any information on him at all. It’s almost like he disappeared of the face of the earth.

Here is Mark Morales today

Most everyone knows about, or should know about, Chubby Checker.

He was born in 1941 as Ernest Evans, but the record company changed his name to Chubby Checker as a “dig” at Fats Domino.
He had a great career going in the 60’s making dance songs that started new dance crazes. “The Twist” was the most popular of these songs. He married Catharina Lodders who was Miss World of 1962. It was a tad scandalous at the time since she was white. It’s horrible how people got upset about that. No one would even blink an eye now thank goodness.

Today Chubby Checker is still doing the retro concert tour circuit.

**NOTE**: I am trying a new host for the mp3 so I have no idea how long it will last.

Creature Of Habit, Or Just Boring? 

I am such a creature of habit.
I bet if anyone was stalking me they would be able to tell what time it was by what I was doing.

Here is my schedule:
5:00-6:30am – Depending on what time Ap0k has to get up to go to work, this is when I get up and cook. I will admit that sometimes I play dead and he has to make his own breakfast, but I do try to give it a shot. I also have to check my email and all of my forums while I cook. We always watch the news while we are eating. Bay News 9 ROCKS!
7:30am – Ap0k leaves for work by this time every day. Now I really start going through my forums. Checking the posts, deleting bad or expired posts on the forums I moderate, and replying to posts on all of them.
9:00am – I go back to bed to “read”. That usually lasts about 20-30 minutes before I fall asleep.
11:00am – Get back up and check forums again. Fiddle around the house. Do minor chores like pick up the bits of paper the cats have strewn around, pick up the clothes Ap0k left all over the living room, watch crap programs on BBCA, just general crap.
1:30-2:00pm – Email Ap0k to find out what he wants for dinner. If needed I then go to the grocery store, which is usually every day. Sometimes, like today, my little sister goes with me. So exciting for her! She must really be bored if she chooses to go to Winn-Dixie with me.
3:30-5:30pm – Now it’s time to really do the house work. Clean the kitchen, do laundry, sweep the floors, take out the garbage, change the litter box, all kinds of exciting things.
5:30-6:30pm – Ap0k calls to say he is coming home so now it’s time for me to start dinner. Once he’s home we eat and chat about the day.
8:00pm – TV time. Monday is a flip day. Tuesday is AI, House MD, and News. Wednesday is That 70’s Show, Life On A Stick, AI, Stacked, and News. Thursday and Friday are both flip days.
10:00-10:30pm – Ap0k goes to bed. I finish watching the news.
11:00pm-12:00am – I write this while I watch two episodes of MASH.
12:02am-1:00am. I post this and then go to bed.

Of course there are slight variations from time to time. This past Tuesday I went to my parent’s house to visit and then went to brunch with them. Some days I get frisky and work on the walls. Some days I get the shopping bug and spend time at Wal-Mart. And of course some days my daughter, her boyfriend, and my little sister are here so they throw a monkey wrench in my whole routine.
Ap0k’s next, and final, surgery is next Wednesday. That means he will be home until the following Monday. Of course my routine will be tossed out the window.
Reading my schedule makes me realize that I lead a very calm life. Amazingly, it’s not at all boring. I guess that means I am happy!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Ever Wondered About The History Of Dildos and Vibrators? 

Have you ever wondered about the history of the dildo?
How about the vibrator?

Main Entry: dil•do
Pronunciation: 'dil-(")dO
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural dildos also dildoes
Etymology: origin unknown
: an object serving as a penis substitute for vaginal insertion

Main Entry: vi·bra·tor
Pronunciation: 'vI-"brA-t&r
Function: noun
: one that vibrates or causes vibration : as a : a vibrating electrical apparatus used in massage or for sexual stimulation
Source A Source B

No one seems to know exactly who invented the dildo, but examples have been found in China dating back 12,000 years. These dildos were made of brass, wood, jade, and ivory. Personally I think I would have to choose an ivory one. The brass and jade would be too cold and the wood might have splinters! Evidence seems to point to the fact that maids used these dildos on aristocratic women. What a job to have!

Ancient Greek women were lucky in that Greece was a major manufacturer of dildos. They were made of stone, wood, and padded leather. The lubricant of choice was olive oil. Sometimes the dildos were attached to statues of the Greek God Priapus and were used to pierce the hymen of young girls to get them ready for marriage. Some traditions are best swept under the rug in my opinion.

Women in Ancient Africa must have been horribly hard up for sex because dildos made of camel dung (yes camel poop!), and coated with resin. Well that is pretty desperate (and icky) if you ask me!

In the 1800’s women were treated by doctors for “hysteria”. Hysteria was considered the cause of “women’s ailments” and psychological troubles. Doctors would manually stimulate a woman to orgasm and this would apparently cure all her ills. Another great job!
In the mid-1800’s the rubber dildo was invented. Then later came the vibrator. The vibrator was invented so that doctors could administer to more women in a day.
This is a picture of a stream powered vibrator. Devices such as this were only sold to doctors for the treatment of hysteria.

It looks positively frightening to me!

In the early 20th century you could buy “personal massagers.” They were to be used for the reduction of female stress and anxiety. Amazingly you could buy these “massagers” directly from the Sears catalog. How come Sears doesn’t sell them anymore I wonder?
Unfortunately the advent of adult movie brought the true purpose of the dildo and vibrator to light.
Here is a picture of an authentic hand cranked vibrator. It was in use around 1890.

Basically it is a hand crank egg beater with the beaters removed and a dildo attached. It seems to me that you would either have to have long arms or be able to bend in half to use this thing.
This next vibrator is an example of the early electric models. It is from Hamilton circa 1902.

I don’t know about you, but I would never let this thing anywhere near my crotchital region!

Today dildos and vibrators are both common and popular, though most vibrators are still called “massagers” quite often. You can buy them out of catalogs, in stores, and on-line.
The dildos of today are made of rubber, plastic, silicone, glass, and many other materials. You can find them in every imaginable shape and color. Thankfully wood and camel dung are no longer popular!

This post is dedicated to *Tommy.
Check out the blog he shares with MG and you will see why.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

A Little Of This, And A Little Of That 

I was reading a post on one of the forums today regarding sexual fantasy partners. Everyone was naming off actors, actresses, and musicians. I tried to come up with one, but for the life of me couldn’t think of even one person.
Some people were saying that during sex they think about people other than the person they are with. I can’t ever remember doing that.
Does that make me dull or unimaginable? No, I think that makes me completely satisfied with I have.


Do I have “Bank Of AGFH” tattooed on my forehead? It seems like every time I turn around someone is asking me for money. Today it was my nephew. He called and said he needed $20. I gave it to him, but I did tell him that when it comes time to hang the new drywall he has to help. The boy is as big as me so it won’t kill him to lend a hand. That should be interesting. Getting him to do manual labor is like trying to squeeze blood from a stone.


It’s lightning bad outside. Well of course outside, it doesn’t lightning inside! Oh wait, that’s not true. One time a lightning ball came right through my grandmother’s kitchen window and exploded on her dining room table.
About 16 years ago we were living in north Florida in the middle of the woods. One afternoon there was a terrific lightning storm going on and a bolt hit our TV antenna. The electricity from the lightning came down the antenna and went in two different directions.
The first line went down the guide wires and jumped over to the clothes line. It then hit the tree the clothesline was attached to and went down the tree and blew one of the roots right out of the ground.
The second line followed the antenna into the wires coming into the house. It followed the wire into the TV and blew it up, then followed the electric cord out of the TV into the wall socket. Luckily the jolt blew the cord for the stereo out of the wall socket before the electric could kill it too.
I was in the living room at the time and found out that lightning/electricity let loose in a room like that will suck the oxygen right out of the room. It felt just like someone had kicked me in the chest.
We had only recently bought the television and when we took it back to the store to see if it could be repaired the manager of the store traded it in for another new one. He said that he would just return the blown-up one to the factory and tell them that it was sent to him that way. Gotta love people like that!


RA67 asked me how I ended up in Florida.
That’s a pretty simple one to answer. When I was 13 there was a BAD BAD blizzard in north Indiana (among other places.) It was a freak storm that came out of nowhere and totally shut down town after town after town. The wind chill factor was literally 84 below zero. After the storm passed we were snowed in for days. All of the dads in my neighborhood dug a trench down the middle of our road to the little grocery store. The storm had come in so fast and so hard that the people working in the store were trapped there. We bought everything up trudged back home. A lot of people ran out of heating oil and some actually died in their houses. It was really bad!
After that whole ordeal my dad said he would NEVER go through another northern winter. He sold the house, packed us up, and we moved to Greenville Texas. That lasted about a year. My grandparents in the meantime had decided that they wanted to move to Florida. Since we had only lived in Texas a year and had no ties there, we packed up again and came to Florida. And I’ve been here ever since….woo-hoo!


Bo Bice kicks major ass!!!!


Tippy is talking in his sleep. There is nothing more amusing than a cat who talks in his sleep. What on earth could he be talking about? His whole world has always been in this house.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Oh No! It's Someone Else's Vacation Photos! RUN!!!!! 

As promised, here are a few of the pictures I took over the weekend.
I decided to thumbnail hotlink them so those of you who are on dial-up don’t choke when they all try to load. Each thumbnail will open in a new window.

Of course this is a picture of the Chicago skyline. Actually it is only part of the skyline because it is so large I couldn’t get it all in one shot.
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A picture of the main drag through Chinatown.
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My daughter and little sister were both amazed by this picture. There is nothing even remotely like this around here.
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This is the lighthouse off the point of Navy Pier.
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Of course I had to get a picture of Wrigley Field!
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I think the front view of Soldier Field is pretty impressing.
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This is the front entrance to Shedd Aquarium. It puts Tampa’s aquarium to shame.
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Outside of Shedd Aquarium you will find this odd statue called “Man With Fish”. It’s a bizarre site because it really looks like he is doing something naughty to the fish!
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I thought this penguin was cute as heck.
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This guy looks just like an old man with no teeth!
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Here is a beautiful iguana. I have always loved lizards of all kinds, so I was particularly taken with this guy.
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Is it bad to look at this giant crab and wonder how tasty he would be?
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Leafy Sea dragons are possibly the most beautiful creatures on the planet. For those of you who have seen the picture of my tattoo, you will understand why I love them so much.
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This is the Field Museum of Natural History. When I was little it was my favorite place to go on vacation.
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It baffles me how an animal so huge could have such a tiny head!
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This is Sue. She is the largest complete Tyrannosaurus Rex ever found.
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These totems were used as house poles. I would most definitely put them outside of my house.
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As I said yesterday, I grew up in Elkhart Indiana. This picture is a straight shot down Main St. I told you it wasn’t very big!
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This is the The Elco Theater. It is located on Main St. in Elkhart. I spent many a Saturday there!
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This is the elementary school I went to. It’s a shame it’s not still a school.
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This is the Elkhart water tower. Every town needs a landmark.
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Are you still with me? If you are I am proud of you! Most people are bored silly by other people’s vacation photos.
I know that to you these pictures are just that, pictures. But to me they will always be precious memories.