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The life of a porn addicted housewife.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

The Queen of Procrastination 

Lately I have become the Queen of Procrastination.

I was supposed to have gone to the grocery store on this past Sunday, but I still haven’t gone. I keep telling myself that there is plenty of food in the pantry.
I have only bought one Christmas present. Hey, I still have 23 days!
I was supposed to start painting the stairs going up to the 3rd floor, but haven’t even opened the door. It’s not like it’s going anywhere.
I’ve had a movie uploaded for almost two weeks, but I haven’t made a preview yet so that I can post it. It will still be there when I get around to it.

I did finally buy new Christmas decorations. When we moved to Ohio I gave all of my decorations to my daughter and my little sister. How stupid was that??? Most of them were things I had made myself. I guess I didn’t think ahead on that one huh?
Tuesday I hit store after store after store and bought all kinds of neato crap.
I am sure I will end up buying more, but so far this one is my favorite:

Cheesy yes, but remember, it’s me we are talking about here. When I am not being the Queen of Procrastination I am the Queen of Tacky.

I was looking for a wreath but dang they are expensive! In the end I ended up buying a naked one and decorated it myself:

I did end up taking the living room ceiling fan apart so that I could paint the blades to match the tables:

Ap0k found a really nice looking tv stand that matched the general look of our end tables. He bought it naked then took one of the small tables to Home Depot to be color matched. By the time he was done it was an exact match:

Oh look, evidence that I really did fall down the stairs. My butt ended up right in that puddle:

It is a bit hard to see at this point, but this is how the purple paint came out in the computer room:

It looks really really good in person. I was surprised at how much Ap0k liked it when it was done. I think he was a bit leery in the beginning, but at the end he was really pleased. Now all I need is some furniture to put in the room.

I hit eBay a few weeks ago. I bought a bunch of new pulp novels from the 50’s and 60’s to add to my collection. $45 for 40 books and that included the shipping. You can’t argue with that:

Could this be Satan’s Squirrel?

I WIN!!!!!!!!!!!
It took about 30+ bags total, and a lot of work, but I beat that dang tree in the end:

Now, as the Queen of Procrastination, let’s see if I can manage to get the poly on the fan blades today.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!! 

It was just the two of us today, but you would have thought I was cooking for an army!
I made an 11 pound citrus turkey, real mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, dressing, corn on the cob, macaroni salad, deviled eggs, gravy, rolls, and an apple crisp.
We ate so much food at dinner that we haven't even touched the apple crisp yet.
I want to take this time to pat myself on the back because, dang it, I made the best macaroni salad EVER!
My daughter taught me how to make the citrus turkey and it always comes out moist as can be.
We ate almost 5 hours ago and I am still soooooooo full!

This is the one meal a year that I really try to outdo myself. I love cooking for Ap0k because he loves food so much.
I love the look on his face when he comes to the table and it's all loaded down with tons of things that he loves. I know I've done good when he moans and groans for an hour after he eats.

Here's some pictures of dinner before Ap0k attacked it:

I've been raking up leaves seemingly nonstop for the last two+ weeks. This past Sunday I had 13 - 40 gallon bags full of leaves set out by the road to be picked up. I have raked them up, mowed them down, and cursed them endlessly, and yet when I look outside......there's more out there on the ground!!!!! Three of the trees are finally naked, but the big one in the front yard refuses to stop dropping leaves. I think it is growing more when I am not looking. I want to go out and shake the crap out of it so they will all fall out! Oh well, I guess it DOES give me an excuse to go outside.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Jonzun Crew | Pack Jam | (1983)

FOr Ap0k...More from our drives!
The Jonzun Crew

For Ap0k...Remember the drives?

Friday, November 03, 2006

The Purplest Purple That Ever Purpled! 

Yeah, it sounded like a great idea.
"Let's paint the computer room purple!" we said.
Well I sure hope that when I am done it looks better than the initial bit I have put on because this is the most obnoxious purple I have ever seen!
Yes I know, I have to wait until all of the coats are on (at least two) and it's set for a couple of days to let the color calm down. But right now it looks like a grape Kool-Aid explosion.
The plan was purple walls with white accessories. I am thinking I am going to need A LOT of white to tone this down.


They are almost finished with my road. Today they are putting the final lift of asphalt on. I have never seen people work so slowly in my life. They are definitely getting paid by the hour. They are doing good work though, I won't take that away from them. And like I said before, I will miss them when they are gone.


The temperature here has plummeted over the last few days. It was only 24F this morning. That's cold! I am dreading seeing what the heating bill is going to be. I figured we would go one month with the house at a very comfortable temperature and if the electric/gas bill is too high then I will cut it down several degrees and put on more clothes.


I am currently reading a book titled "The Other Hollywood: The Uncensored Oral History of the Porn Film Industry" by Legs McNeil and Jennifer Osborne. I will give it a good review when I am finished. Let's just say that at this point my sympathy for Linda Lovelace has waned considerably.
Here's a bit of trivia for you; Did you know the Marilyn Chambers married Linda Lovelace's ex-husband and that Sammy Davis Jr. was the best man at their wedding? Chuck Traynor, what an ass!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Halloween Locusts 

This was our first Halloween in our new house so we had no idea what to expect in regards to the amount of trick-or-treaters we be getting.
Monday night we went out and bought an absolute boatload of candy “just in case.” I was SURE that we had bought way too much. Because we didn’t know how much we would need we bought everything that we like so that we could eat the left-overs. This afternoon when I was opening the bags and pouring it all out into our cauldron I was horrified at the amount I had.

Boy was I ever mistaken!

Kids came out of the woodwork. They were like a swarm of locusts! I have never seen so many trick-or-treaters in my life. We ended up handing out all of that candy in less than an hour and then I had to make an emergency run to the store to buy that much more again.

My mom said that it was Karma coming back and biting me in the butt. When our daughter was little we always took her trick-or-treating in a “good” neighborhood instead of our own. Tonight carloads of people were showing up in our neighborhood from goodness knows where.

It was all good though. We had a really good time handing the candy out. All of the kids were extremely friendly and amazingly polite. My favorite costumes were the little bee with the stinger on his butt, the 3 month old in a pink fur cat costume who was sound asleep but who’s mom was having a ball, Batman who was really too old to be trick-or-treating but had a kick ass costume, and the living dead football player. Some of the littlest kids were beyond adorable, and some of the older kids were really funny. I was definitely pleased with the amount of adults that were out with the kids. It scares me to see little kids out wandering around by themselves.

All in all it went off very well, but next year I will know that I need at least twice as much candy as I thought!