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The life of a porn addicted housewife.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Life In My Yard 

I am trying to get better at taking pictures. Today I went out and took some pictures in the yard. I am basically working on close-ups, composition, lighting, well everything I guess.
Here are some of the pictures I took:

First we have a selection of tiny flowers. These are all over the back yard. Yellow, blue, purple, and white, and none of them are over ¼” in size…..

These are the bricks by my front porch….

The next pictures show a dead wasp’s nest that has already been sprayed (top), and then a live nest (bottom.) I will have Ap0k spray it in the morning. It was difficult to get the lighting right on these pictures because they we under overhangs.

If you look carefully at the center of this picture you will see a lizard. Nice camouflage!

This little spider was about 1/16 of an inch long…..

Wow, how exciting! Pictures of tree stumps! The first stump was the hardest thing to kill. It is basically a giant weed and takes over your whole yard in just a couple months. After years of fighting it we finally gave up and killed it. The second stump is just part of a little tree that was interfering with the power line coming to the house.

This picture didn’t come out as clear as I would have liked, but the colors were so amazing that I just had to post it too….

This is the end piece to an old fence. I just liked the way this one came out….

This little patch of pebbles caught my eye. I was quite pleased with the clarity of the picture….

And last but CERTAINLY not least, we have Hammy. We definitely named him right. As I told Ap0k today, this cat is nothing but a giant ham. The minute I step foot out of the house with the camera he starts hollering at me and won’t stop until I take his picture….

I hope you like the pictures. I am still learning how to work this camera, but I do think I am getting some better at it.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

I have DSL Syndrome - What You Lookin At? 

I was driving down the road today, singing along with the radio (You’re My Obsession) and generally minding my own business when I got stopped at a light. I happened to glance over at the guy in the car next to me and it was all I could do not to laugh at him right to his face.
This man literally had the biggest lips I have ever seen on a human being in my life. Now I am normally not one to make fun of the way people look. I definitely never make fun of people’s mouths because everyone who knows me knows that I have a serious case of DSL (Dick Suckin’ Lips) myself. But man oh man, this guys lips were HUGE! His bottom lip stuck out at least 2 inches from face. They were like big camel lips. I swear they would have started flapping if the wind had blown in his window. I can honestly say that I very rarely find anything about anyone to be gross, but this WAS gross. BLECH! What’s bad is that his lips were so memorizing that the guy behind me had to honk at me when the light changed. Thank goodness he turned the corner or I would have probably run into something.

I have become addicted to downloading mash-ups. Poor Ap0k, he doesn’t really care much for them, but I make him sit here and listen to them anyone.
Mash-ups are when you put two or more songs together into one. The vocals from one along with the instrumental from another. Most people tend to choose songs that would never go together. I have downloaded a zillion of them from a bunch of different people. So far my favorites, by far, are Aggro1, PartyBen, and Futuro. Another artist, Team9, has released a song called “Eleanor’s in My Head” which is a mash of Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles and In My Head by Queens of the Stone Age. I think that this is the song that epitomizes the genre. You can find the song Here, along with several others from Team9. Make sure to get “Eleanor’s In My Head” and “Greenday Massacre”.
Futuro’s site is Here. While all of his songs are very well done I would have to say that “Papa Was a Rollin’ Man” featuring The Temptations and Chicago is my favorite. Aggro1 doesn’t appear to have a site of his own that I can find, but if you run a search for him on google you will easily find some of his songs.
Mash-ups are NOT for everyone. You have to go into them with an open ear, an open mind, and sometimes a good sense of humor. I am going to have to get the programs and try to figure out how to do this myself.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

I've Been Filtered! 

Tommy has left me a message stating that WebSense has now deemed me dirty enough to block my URL with their software. For those of you who might not have heard of WebSense, it is a corporate web filtering program that blocks access to those sites that “IT” sees as harmful in some way. They have a URL search tool that I had to register to access, but this is what I came up with:

Adult Content
Database version:
Database date:
25 Jul 2005

There is also a link that I could go to to complain about being added, but of course I won’t do that. I think that the pictures I posted last night and the sex story the night before pretty much guarantee that I would be stuck in that category for good.

So, how do I feel knowing that I have been censored by a piece of software?

On the one hand I want to be angry. How dare they censor me!?! Haven’t they heard of free speech blah blah blah…..

But then on the other hand we have the sensible person who totally understands. Do people who are at work REALLY need to be looking at naked pictures? Should they be reading softcore porn? Probably not. People are getting paid to do their work, not look at nudie pictures! Yes, for the most part I write about harmless things, but I guess the few sex-type posts I make do throw me into the dreaded “adult” category. It’s a companies right in my opinion to filter out anything that they see as unfit or detrimental to employee productivity.
I put up a poll once asking where people accessed this site from and majority of the replies were “from home” which is why I decided to go the more adult route.
It’s not like I write about pressing matters that MUST be read immediately. Waiting until you get home should be fine.

One thing I would like to know is, who decides what is blocked or not? I would imagine that the company has some sort of spider program that searches meta tags etc. I doubt, though it’s possible, that actual people are blocking sites unless they are specifically requested to.

I went through the list of blogs I have over there on the left and WebSense has only blocked me and Alexa. Even Gimme Porn Now and Jock Strap are allowed through the filters. The software is definitely flawed. Kostas Forum is porn forum specializing in anal movies. It comes back as not filtered and uncategorized. TCRF which is a HUGE porn forum comes back listed as not filtered and is in the GAMES category! At least Jane’s Guide is also listed as adult and blocked. After all it IS the gateway to all things porn. I do find it amusing that Tommy and MG are not blocked and they have written some of the most erotic stuff I have ever read. Software, you gotta love it huh?

Oh well, I guess in the end all I can do is laugh. To think that such a major company thinks I am too dirty for the workplace is really pretty funny.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Erotic Art *NSFW* 

I think it was sometime late last year that I posted two erotic pictures by Samarel. Since then I have visited his website and collected my favorites from his galleries.
Samarel is a digital artist who takes regular photographs and turns them into digital erotic art. I find his work to be simply stunning. After viewing the pictures below please make a trip to his site to check out the other pictures available. Make sure to visit the before and after section in the Sensual Portraits gallery. I think it would be fun to have him do one of me.

Monday, July 25, 2005

The First Time 

Do you remember the first time you had any form of sexual activity with another person?
Not with yourself, with another person. How old were you? Where were you? Who was the person? Did you enjoy it or did it scare you? Maybe it was both?

I was 13 when I first had anything to do sexually with another person. It was with Christina who was my best friend at the time. I had a playhouse in my backyard that was behind our garage so you couldn’t see it from the house. For years my friends and I had played in that playhouse like normal kids do, but one day things went slightly awry to say the least.

Christina, who was 14 at the time, and I were hanging out in the playhouse talking about boys and school, you know, normal young girl chit-chat. I said that I was bored and Christina suggested that we play house. I thought she had lost her mind! What fun could playing house be when you are 13 and 14 years old? I thought it would be a better idea to go in and watch TV or something. Christina said that she thought it would be fun to pretend to be her parents. I thought that sounded stupid, but not having anything better to do I went ahead with her plan.

She told me to go to the sink (I had a fake kitchen in the playhouse) and pretend I was her mom washing the dishes. She said she would be her dad coming home from work.
“Oh well”, I thought, “I guess it’s better than just sitting here.”
Christina went outside and I went over and pretended to wash the dishes.

Christina walked in and said in a deep voice, “Hey babe, are we alone?” Pretending to be her mother I said “Chris is outside playing.”
Christina walked up behind me and put her arms around my waist. She leaned in to me and kissed my neck just under my ear. Let me tell you, I just about jumped out of my skin! Chris laughed and pulled away and asked what I was making for dinner. “Your favorite”, I told her. “Dinner will have to wait a few minutes” she replied as she wrapped herself around me again. She bent her head and softly bit me on the ear as she raised her hands to cup my breasts. I think I stopped breathing at this point. I asked her what she was doing and she told me she was being my husband. I didn’t know whether to laugh or run at that point. Chris slowly slid her hands down my stomach and when she got to the bottom of my shirt she lifted it slightly and started tracing circles on my stomach with her fingertips. I realized that had a death grip on the edge of counter and tried to relax. I was a mass of screaming nerve endings as she pulled her hands over my ribs to by breasts. Still behind me, she pulled my shirt over my head. Feeling her hands run across my body was a feeling I had never experienced before. I felt so hot, like my skin was on fire.
I leaned back against her as her hands drifted lower and lower until she reached the top of my jeans. Chris wrapped one of her arms around me and held me tight against her as she unbuttoned and unzipped my pants. She was holding on to me tightly like she thought I was going to try to escape. Trust me, by this time I was not going anywhere! Her hand slipped down into my pants and she ran her fingernails around on my panties. The feeling was simply amazing. I had never even really thought of anything like this before let alone felt it. I remember letting out a whimper when her hand went inside of my panties. I pressed myself back against her as hard as I could. I could feel her breath on my neck as she whispered “I love you baby.” I lifted up my leg and put my foot on a step stool we used as chair and she parted my lips with her fingers. By this time I was so wet and hot that I wanted to scream. Her fingers penetrated me sending a shock through my entire body. Even when I had masturbated I had never done that before. I felt like I had become weightless. She pulled her fingers in and out of me and I couldn’t catch my breath. I felt like someone had taken all of the oxygen out of the air. Suddenly my back felt like it was on fire and I started to shake. My stomach muscles knotted up and I slammed myself backwards letting out a yell. I had just experienced my first orgasm at the hands of another person.
I stood there panting as she pulled her hand out of my pants and turned me to face her. She brought her lips to mine and gave me the smallest of kisses repeating the words “I love you baby” over and over again.

Over the next couple of months Christina and I played house many many times. I was always the mom and she was always the dad. No matter how hard I tried though, she would never let me do to her what she did to me. All she would ever say is “That’s not how the game is played.”

About 6 months later Christina and her family moved to another state and I never saw her again. I will never forget her though.

Christina, wherever you are, thank you for a wonderful time.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

The Naked Tickler 

I heard about something just yesterday that while scary yes, is actually pretty funny when you think about.
New Smyrna Beach has got themselves a NAKED TICKLER of all things!
The man, described as slim white and young, has struck 7 times in the last 4 years, and only targets women over 60 years old.
The latest victim was interviewed on the news yesterday and she couldn’t stop laughing. She said that she was sleeping when the man broke into her house, snuck in her room, and started tickling her feet. When she woke up she said the naked man started giggling and ran from the house. She admits that it is scary, but can’t help seeing it as funny also.
No one has been hurt in these attacks.

What makes a man do something like this? It HAS to be sexual of course. What else could it be? Freaky!

Sand Storms and Taco Bell 

Apparently there is a sand storm coming to Florida tomorrow (Monday). The sand storm originated in the Sahara Desert and has made its way, as a cloud, all of the way here. While that sounds freaky it’s not like we are going to get blasted with sand on the ground or anything. The cloud is pretty high and it should alter the look and color of the sky for awhile. They are issuing warnings for anyone with respiratory problems to stay indoors “just in case.” I am hoping it is nice enough to take some pictures of.


I am sitting here watching “World’s Most Amazing Videos” on Spike TV. This has got to be the MOST disturbing show ever put on television. I just watched a magician who was doing a fire breathing act set his whole face on fire! I hate shows like this because even though I get so upset, I still can’t change the channel.


I hate ants. I can handle spiders and I love snakes, but ants send me over the edge. When I was pregnant I happened to sit on a stump that was infested with fire ants. I ended up with a massive amount of bites and could only lie on my stomach for days. Try lying on your stomach for hours on end when you are 7 months pregnant. Since then ants are the only things that really give me the willies. I take great pleasure in killing them. MWA-HA-HA!!!


Taco Bell’s new good to go campaign is STUPID. The commercials irritate the heck out of me. Trust me; the ads do NOT make me want to go there to eat.


Well, could this have been any more boring? Doubt it!

Friday, July 22, 2005

Just A Normal Day 

You know, you have to love a camera that can actually pick raindrops right out of the air.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Crabby Rain and Supposedly Straight Guys 

I was feeling pretty crappy this morning so when Ap0k got up for work I didn’t get up with him as usual. As a result he had no breakfast (even though there was cereal), he didn’t get his lunch made (though he did take some crackers and fruit), AND he forgot his phone again.
When I woke up later in the morning I felt much better. When I realized he had left his phone I emailed him and told him I would bring it over to him. Being the sweetheart that he is, he took me to The Rattlefish Grill for lunch. I had never been there before, but let me tell you, it was FANTASTIC! For an appetizer we had the shrimp margarita which is a salsa, shrimp, crab meat combo surrounded my multi-colored tortilla chips. For the main course he had the seafood gumbo and I had a giant mixed greens salad with strawberries, kiwis, pineapples, banana chips, roasted red and green peppers, grilled onions, and grilled shrimp, topped with a raspberry vinaigrette dressing that was to die for. Can you tell that I was pleased with my meal?
No matter how bad I feel Ap0k always knows just what to do to perk me up. It is so nice having someone who knows everything about me.

I was feeling crabby yesterday too. So much so that everyone was pissing me off, even people on my forums were irritating the hell out of me. It got so bad that I was so afraid I would say something horrible to make a bunch of people mad. Crabbiness and forums do NOT mix! I ended up going out to mow even though the feel-like temperature was 105F.
By the time I was done I had burned off (literally) all of my ill placed anger and I was in a much better mood. Sometimes the best thing for curing bad moods is some good hard work.

I have a question. What makes people feel the need to have multiple personalities on the internet? I guess I could understand why you would have one different than your “real life”, but some people seem to have several. How do you keep them straight? I know people that are male in real life, but on the internet are both male and female depending on where they are at. Now, from past experience I can understand what would make a girl want people to think she is a guy, because the minute you are labeled a girl guys come out of the woodwork acting like dogs. “Are you hot???” “Got any pictures????” Got any naked pictures you can post???” “Want to have a private chat???” Let me tell you, that gets old real quick! Do these guys treat girls in real life the same way? I hope not! What I don’t understand though are males who pretend to be females. OK, if you were gay I could see it, but the guys I am talking about are supposedly straight. I say supposedly because why would a straight guy want other guys talking to him like he were a girl? Makes no sense to me. I would say there are definitely some skeletons in those guys’ closets.

It is thundering and lightning all around me tonight, but so far we haven’t gotten a drop of rain. Well actually I started this paragraph before I started the previous one. Now that I finished it, it IS raining. It’s ok though, I have chocolate covered peanuts to keep me calm if the lightning gets too close.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Clear Skies 

After several weeks of pretty crappy weather, I just had to take a picture of the sky tonight. Clear as can be, but not a star in the sky. The moon was simply gorgeous.

Tears In My Future? 

You all know how anal I have become about my yard. It is nice and green and looks pretty good until you really LOOK at it. Ap0k has bought some Weed ‘N Feed and I just know that when it gets put down, at least 2/3 of my green stuff is going to disappear.
I foresee tears in my future!
Of course we will put down grass seed, but in the interim I will be inconsolable!!!


I posted a nice POV scene with Gauge on TCRF this morning. They seem to like it, so that makes me happy. Would be pretty pointless to post something no one liked.


I am not a happy camper. I installed all of M$’s updates for XP SP1 the other night and now my computer is being a pain. Nothing major is wrong, and if you didn’t use it all of the time you probably wouldn’t notice the difference. I on the other hand, use this computer like a life support system so any little bobble at all is VERY noticeable to me.
One of the updates (not sure which) really pissed me off because it reinstalled MSN Messenger. I have not, do not, and will not use that program. The only chat program I use is mIRC to connect to my group’s irc channel. Of course I uninstalled Messenger again immediately, but the point is that I did not want it in the first place!
I will be the first to admit that I love M$. I have even been caught calling Bill Gates God in the past. But come on; quit sneaking things in on me! If they had SAID “this update comes with such and such AND Messenger” I would still have installed the update and then removed Messenger. Sneaking things in is just dirty pool in my book.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

On The Hunt 

As I said yesterday, I am in the mood to make a music video. The problem is that I am having a harder than normal time finding a video worth altering.
When I first starting making the videos I would gather up spam posts and work from there. Nowadays the spammers have plastered their site watermarks all over the videos making them useless. I know that as they see it as advertising, which it is, but I would never join a site that watermarks their videos like some of these people do. Who am I kidding right? You know I would never pay for porn anyway. In the past I have used watermarked videos, but the watermarks were small and unobtrusive. The ones you find now though have watermarks that take up half of the screen.
It looks like I am going to have to get more creative. Looks like it’s time to hit the pass lists again.

OK, found me a huge list. You know, looking through these sites it totally amazes me what garbage people will pay for. It is the rare porn site that has any real original content. Everyone is retreading the same stuff over and over. What I find really amusing is how many of them claim to have great videos, yet they are all connected to the same stream sites. You could be paying for 100 different sites and all of them have the exact same video content.

Then there are the sites that say they have content and when you get inside they have 20 pictures.

One thing that strikes me about some porn paysites is their names. Carebares? Now you KNOW a zillion little kids have misspelled carebears and ended up seeing things they probably shouldn’t. Supermarket Whores? Trust me; the whores I see in my grocery store are not worth watching naked!

There ARE some sites that do have good original content. “Guys Lucky Day” for example. They take average looking guys off the street (supposedly) and pair them up with a couple of really good looking girls. The one I am downloading now is about a guy in a computer store. I love geeky guys! Looking through their list of movies, this site is definitely a good one.

OMG! I just found one called daddy videos. One of the sections has a bunch of older guys (late 60’s or so) jacking off. That’s not what I am looking for!!!
Hmmmm, here is one called monster cock club. It sounded promising, but ended up being a gay site and the guys dicks weren’t that big. Don’t get me wrong, I love gay movies (yes I do!), but I can’t post them for the guys on my forums. Now if you ARE looking for big dicks (and who isn’t?) “A Cut Above” has a few amateur videos of solo guys with BIG ones. I was quite impressed and I downloaded them all for my viewing pleasure.

One site I WILL recommend is http://diabolicxxx.com/ it has a lot of good quality video content and updates frequently. The site is owned by Anabolic Video and all of the scenes are all from their own movies which are some of the best in the business in my opinion. Your membership will allow you access to both anabolicxxx and diabolicxxx sites. Both are plum full of goodies. No idea what it costs, you’ll have to check that out for yourself.

Well I am part way through a giant (GIANT) list and I have found several things to post. Nothing for a music video yet though. I will work on that again tomorrow I guess.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Gator Skeeters Are Eating Me Alive! 

I walked outside for 5 minutes this evening and now I am one giant mosquito bite!
I swear to god that we don’t have normal mosquitoes in Florida. I think what we have are Gator Skeeters. They lie in wait, hiding, giving you a false sense of security. Just when you are feeling nice and comfortable, WHAMMO!, they attack. They don’t leave normal bite bumps either, these are huge and painful. Sometimes you would swear you were getting stung by a wasp instead of a measly little mosquito.
What’s scary is that mosquitos carry West Nile Virus and 4 chickens in Pinellas County were just found to have it. It’s hard for humans to contract the virus, but it still gives you the willies when you think about it.


I have made my final decision on the design for my next tattoo. I think Ap0k will be happy with it. I want to keep it a surprise so I can’t say yet what the design is yet.
Now all I need is the money.


Someone on TCRF is going to be busy for awhile so he has offered me his server space to post some movies on. I will try to find something good to post in the morning. I have been wanting to make another music video so maybe I will make a stab at that. Some people find it odd that I make porn music videos, but hey, everyone needs a hobby.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Vroom Vroom *NSFW* 

What are the favorite things of most normal guys?
Cars and girls of course (and if you are Ap0k it’s in that order!)

Here is a little treat for you guys (or girls!) who love pretty women and pretty cars:

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