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The life of a porn addicted housewife.

Friday, April 28, 2006


Let me tell you about my oh so exciting week.

Monday I went to WalMart and bought groceries, new undies, and a new bra.

Tuesday and Wednesday I pretty much did nothing besides the normal housework.

Thursday I mowed the lawn, whacked the weeds, edged, stuff like that. I did manage to upset the man across the street. He is completely anal about his yard being perfect. When he got home and saw how good my yard looked he literally freaked out and started mowing his yard like a mad man. He even made his wife get their spare mower to help him. I will admit that I laughed hysterically. My yard looks goooooooooood!

Today is Friday and it is 3:45am. I will go lay down for 2 hours and then get up, make breakfast, take Ap0k to work, and then go to the store to get meat for the weekend.

Sometimes the life of a housewife can be so overly exciting that it's really hard to manage it all.


Oh, I did teach myself to use two new DVD rippers.

I feel like I had to have done SOMETHING else, but for the life of me I can't think of anything.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Winton Woods 

Ap0k and I went to Winton Woods today. It is an absolutely gorgeous park! I have talked about Sharon Woods in the past and posted a number of pictures of that park. Winton Woods is even bigger than Sharon Woods!

Like Sharon Woods, Winton Woods surrounds a large lake. Since we were looking for something new and different to do today we rented one of the pedal boats and peddled our happy buts all over the place. Let me just say this; you will never know just how out of shape your thighs really are until you pedal a boat around in the water!! I pedaled by myself quite a bit and at one point my thighs were cramping up so bad I was just sure my muscles were going to explode right out of my pants. I probably won’t be able to walk tomorrow. It was A LOT of fun.

Now you KNOW I couldn’t go out and not take pictures.

This is Winton Pavilion at Winton Harbor. It was taken from the middle of the lake:

Of course I had to take a picture of the prerequisite duck:

Here is an Ohio Gator. OK OK it’s a log, but if you were in Florida and saw that shape you would head the other way immediately:

Just to show what a gorgeous day it was, I took a picture of one of the many kites flying around. The sky was a pristine blue:

There was no way that Ap0k could have left the driveway today without his girlfriend.
Isn’t she stunning!!!

It was a fantastic day all around.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

By Request 

I was asked by someone to take these pictures, so here they are:

Everything is going smashingly well here. Smashingly, I've always wanted an excuse to say that! The weather has been picture perfect. I haven't heard the emergency sirens in almost a week. I hate the emergency sirens! If they only went off when there was an actual emergency that would be fine, but for some reason Hamilton County has decided they must turn them on when there is a severe weather watch too. You never know when they go off if you should ignore them or go hide in the bathroom.

Ap0k had sex with his girlfriend.....oops.....I mean Ap0k drove his car the other day. It was so nice out he just couldn't leave her in the garage another minute.

It's supposed to rain this weekend so that means more lawn mowing in my future. Every time it rains the grass grows 6" over night.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

My Day In A Nutshell 

4:30AM – Take a nap
6:30AM – Get up and eat two bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits from McDonalds.
7-8:00AM – Hang around with Ap0k until he leaves for work.
8:30AM – Go to sleep.
12:00PM – Wake up and stagger aimlessly around the house.
12:30-1:00PM – Computer time.
1-4:30PM – Weed whack the entire yard. Edge the driveway and all sidewalks. Find the edge of the one sidewalk by the house where the dirt had overtaken it. Get the blower out and clean the sidewalks, driveway, and patio. Wash the dishes. Sweep the floors. Mop the floors. Clean the bathroom. Wash, dry, and put away the laundry. Vacuum all the carpets.
4:30-6:30PM – Computer time.
6:30PM – Dinner. Chicken wings and fries from Beef O’Brady’s.
7-8:00PM – Hang around with Ap0k and watch crap on TV.
8-9:00PM – American Idol. Computer time.
9-10:00PM – House M.D. Computer time.
10-11:00PM – Law and Order SVU. Computer time.
11-11:30PM – News. Write this.

12:00AM – Hopefully bed all night. But I will probably sleep for about 3 hours and then up and mess with the computer until Ap0k gets up in the morning.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

The Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Gardens 

Ap0k and I made our first trip to the Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Gardens today. The weather was almost illegally gorgeous! Of course I took my normal one zillion pictures, but I have paired them down to show just a few of them. Have I ever said that I am totally in love with my camera? There were tons of people there, but it wasn’t really too bad. I will say that by the time we left I had had my fill of children and their ignorant parents.

Because this is Easter weekend, all of the animals were given paper-mache Easter eggs filled with treats. It was really cute!

First I will start with the animals:

These are the “Siegfried & Roy's White
Lions of Timbavati”. They are amazingly pretty. I thought it was neat how their manes looked like they had been freshly styled. (I know, I’m a dork!)

This is a Sumatran Rhino

A Grevy’s Zebra

Greater Flamingos. These flamingos are nesting. Please note the egg in the first picture.

A Great Eland

An Indo-Chinese Tiger

Asian White Tigers

This is a Japanese Macaque

The world’s largest lizard, the Kimodo Dragon. It’s one of my favorite animals on the planet.

Some kind of a BIG icky spider. It was as big as my hand.

Stellar’s Sea Eagle. The biggest bird I have ever seen.

A male peacock showing off for the ladies.

A Trumpeter Swan

And of course, a Polar Bear

We toured the zoo during the Zoo Bloom Tulip Mania. Below are examples of some of the tulips and various other flowers.

This was only 8.7MB out of 252MB. It was really difficult to choose which pictures to post. I hope you enjoy them.

We will definitely be going back, whether Ap0k likes it or not! LOL! Just kidding, he will take me wherever I want to go, whenever I want to go, with no complaints. I missed a few exhibits this time, so I have to go back and check them out.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Gregory Dark - Combining Porn and Mainstream Into One Career 

Gregory Dark, one half of the infamous “Dark Brothers”, has returned to the mainstream!
But the question is, did he ever really leave?

In 1983 Dark directed a short 12 minute drama titled “Dark Cherry” that starred Roger Daltrey of the Who. Around the same time he was an assistant director of several mainstream movies including the James Bond film “Never Say Never Again.”

In 1984 Dark directed his first porn film titled “Let Me Tell Ya ‘Bout White Chicks” featuring Lois Ayres. He then went on to direct many porn films that are today considered classics such as the “New Wave Hookers” series, and three from “The Devil in Miss Jones” series. As far as I know, the last porn movie he directed was 1998’s “Psychosexuals 2.”

Throughout his porn directing career, Gregory Dark continued to direct and produce several mainstream movies and TV shows. Among his credits are “Clockwise” starring John Cleese, the 1988 version of “Dead Man Waking” starring Wings Hauser, “Body of Influence” starring Nick Cassavetes, the TV series “The Profession”, and a special video for the TV series “Oz.”

In 2000, Dark began directing music videos. Bone Thugs –n – Harmony, Xzibit, and Britney Spears all have videos directed by Dark.

Today, Gregory Dark has returned to mainstream movies with a bang. You may have seen the commercials for the new movie titled “See No Evil”, a teen horror film which is sure to do well. Teenagers are always ready for new horror flick.

I know of no other director who has gone back and forth between porn and mainstream like this. Do you? If you do know of anyone, please let me know.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Back In Business! 

This past weekend Ap0k bought me a new 320 gig network drive. I am now back in business! I had totally run out of space on all my other hard drives and was having massive problems downloading anything of substance. I hadn’t downloaded any full mainstream movies in months, but today I got five of them. I was also having problems getting movies ready to post because of course rar’ing a file doubles the space used. It had gotten to the point where I was having to shift files from one drive to another just to make room enough to get one post ready.

We had a massive storm last week that knocked out the power for a couple of hours. Normally this would have been no big deal, but I am trying to set an unbeatable PM Crew record for the longest time between reboots. I was up to 14 ½ weeks of constant boot time and then the power went out. ARGH! Now I have to start all over again.
Ap0k built this computer and it is amazingly stable. I can edit files, make previews, convert movies, browse the internet, use OE, etc all at the same time with no problems. When it seems to be “getting tired” I just let it set for 30 minutes and when I come back it’s good as new. Somehow he managed to build a self healing computer!

Well I had thought I would actually write more today, but Ap0k just called and wants to go out to dinner. Since I am just wearing a ratty t-shirt and an old pair of shorts I guess I should go change.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Shipping Packages - The New Scam? 

Shipping packages seems to have become a money making scam.

The last two times I have shipped packages through the post office I have paid extra for 3-4 day delivery. Both times the packages actually took 10 days to arrive at their destination. Now keep in mind these packages were not going any great distance. Both were shipped to a residence five hours away. They were shipped to a house in a town that has a post office so it wasn’t like they had to be trekked out into the boonies. The first package delay I could almost forgive because it was sent just before Christmas, but the second was shipped in February. In both cases I paid an extra $10 to get them there by a specific date. Of course there is no one to complain to about this. The post office ships so many letters and packages each day that one complaint means nothing to them.

Now we come to today. I had two packages to ship, one to Florida and one to Tennessee. The package to Florida needed a box and peanuts. The package to Tennessee was already boxed and only needed a label. Having had such bad luck with the post office I decided to use UPS this time. Imagine my surprise when everything was totaled up and the cost came to $73!!! I didn’t even choose rapid delivery; I went with straight ground delivery.
I could darn near have driven the packages to the locations for less money. For that price the packages damn well better get there on time!

The cost of shipping a package has gotten ridiculous!!!!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Cincinnati's Arty Side 

While I was busy trying to get a clear shot of the Cincinnati skyline while shivering to death, my little sister went a different route and took the shivering to an extreme. I think the pictures came out fabulously. She has a knack for this I think.