The life of a porn addicted housewife.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
*"Down South" means Key West.
*You think no-one over 70 should be allowed to drive.
*Flip-flops are everyday wear.Shoes are for business meetings and church.No, wait, flip flops are good for church too, unless it's Easter orChristmas.
*Sweet tea can be served at any meal.
*An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
*You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip or cruise to Florida.
*You measure distance in minutes.
*You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
*You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
*All the local festivals are named after a fruit.
*A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
*You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.
*You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer,not summer but really hot, and Christmas.
*It's not soda, cola, or pop...it's coke, regardless of brand or flavor, "What kinda coke you want?" *Anything under 95° is just warm.
*You've hosted a hurricane party.
*You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides.
*You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.
*You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.
*You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee and Withlacoochee.
*You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.
*Bumperstickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, and a confederate flag.
*You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
*"Fixinto" is one word, "I'm fixinto go to the store.
*"Breakfast might include grits, biscuits n' gravy, or country fried steak.
*You get angry when people say "Florida isn't really part of the SOUTH"
*You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.
*You know what the "stingray shuffle" is, and why it's important!