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The life of a porn addicted housewife.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

I Swear I Am Not On Drugs! 

Last night I had two of the weirdest dreams ever! And when I say weird, I mean WEIRD.

The first dream took place in a bar. For some reason, me and some other people I do not know were trying to “clean up” this bar. We threw out all of the undesirable people, we threw trash out of the door, and we caused general mayhem.
When the bar was clean we made sure a new bartender was hired. Now, for some outlandish reason we hired Paul Rudd (yes, Paul Rudd the actor) as the new bartender.
We got the bar set up as a nice place and everyone said it was time to move on to the next bar. Evidentially we were on a mission to clean up bars throughout the city.
I decided that I liked this bar so I declined to continue on with the mission. The new people in the bar were so happy with what we had accomplished that they gave me my own personal booth. No one was allowed to sit at this booth but me. I was lonely in the booth all by myself so I invited someone to sit with me. Who did I invite? Alan Alda!
Every night Alan Alda and I would sit in the booth together. He would drink beer and I would drink Dr Pepper and eat limes. Paul Rudd the bartender would keep bringing me new orange straws with each drink. Each night Alan Alda would either tell me stories about Korea or about being an actor.
How odd is that?

I woke up totally confused. I never go to bars and I never eat limes or use orange straws. Strange! I spent two hours messing around with my computer before I could fall back to sleep.

The next dream was even odder.
My whole family was playing in a park that had numerous caves all over the place. Some were big and some were small, but all were used as buildings of some type. Some were bathrooms, some were locker rooms, some were offices, etc. Each cave had a separate use, but you were allowed to go into any of them at any time.
My little sister, my daughter, and I were running around through each cave checking everything out. We were in the locker room cave when the ground started to shake and the walls started to crumble. My little sister and my daughter were able to get out of the cave entrance, but I was trapped inside when rocks covered the way out. I could hear people screaming my name but they couldn’t hear me yelling back. I was trying to find another way out when I heard something growling. I turned a corner and there was a rock monster dog sitting there. A rock monster dog????? Amazingly I was scared of it at all, in fact I thought it was cute. It walked up to me and knocked me over, then scooped me up on its back. The rock dog took me through a bunch of tunnels throughout the caves, going in and out of different rooms. Sometimes I could see outside and I could see that people were looking for me, but no matter how loud I screamed they couldn’t hear me.
Eventually the rock dog brought me to an open doorway and booted me off of his back. Everyone looked up and saw me standing there and started yelling my name. I ran down and told them about the rock dog, but when we went back up to the door he was gone. Everyone said I must have been bonked on the head and imagined it, but I KNEW he was real.

I woke up at 6am and I couldn't understand why no one would believe that the rock monster dog was real. Ap0k came in the room and when I told him about the dreams I had had he looked at me like I had lost my marbles.

I think he’s right.
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