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The life of a porn addicted housewife.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I Can't Do This Anymore 

This is going to be tough to write because I don’t know for sure who’s reading it.
My family is in the midst of a major meltdown. Keep in mind that they are 1000 miles away. I keep getting hysterical phone calls from everyone with their sides of the story.
Each one of them seems to think that I can solve all of the problems. I am also starting to get the feeling that each one thinks I am not fixing everything because I don’t want to.
Here is my question:
“What on earth do you people think I can do from 1000 miles away?”
I am not a money machine. I can’t keep paying things for other people. I can’t solve my own problems, so how can I solve yours? It’s not like I can pop on over and have a chat. It takes me 14 hours to get there and then I have to sleep for another 6 at least after that. We have one vehicle at the moment because Ap0k’s car has been put up for the winter. If I were to take off to come down there, how would he get to work?
I’m sorry that I don’t have all of the answers. I never did and I never will. I try the best that I can, but when people are hitting you from every side it’s hard to know what to say to each one of you.
We did the best we could to straighten everything up before we left. We left a house and cash. We left utilities on. We bought a car. We paid for food and gas. Unfortunately we are not a bank. We have a limited amount of money and trying to keep up two houses is draining our bank account at an alarming rate.
As for the other problems, there is nothing at all I can do about them. I’m not there to see what is actually going on, and when four people are calling you giving you four completely different stories, it’s impossible to tell any of you what to do. No matter what I say to any one of you, it will piss off the other three. I am in a no-win situation in this.
I am stressed out completely and that’s not fair. It seems that the more we try to better ourselves, the more people try to bring us down.
My phone bill this month is going to be unbelievable. I know I have free long distance, but I only have 500 minutes. We blew through that days ago. It’s not my fault that no one else has long distance on their phones. How come I have to pay for everything?

In the end all I can say is that if persons A&B want money, then maybe persons A&B should get off their asses and get real jobs. Not jobs that they quit after 2 days because “it’s too hard” or “they were mean to me.” Real jobs with real paychecks.
If persons C&D want to be all involved, that’s great, but don’t drag me down with you. I’ve tried everything I know of, and nothing works. We are still forking over money left and right, we are still talking ourselves blue in the face, but that isn’t helping.
I think it’s time for everyone to step back and take a deep breath. It’s time person’s A&B stopped draining everyone dry.
“Grow Up”
“Clean up after your own mistakes”
“Act like adults”
“Stop the drama”
“Kick the ass to the curb”
“Piss or get off the pot”
“Pay your own bills”

Ap0k and I are trying to be happy. With the promotion and the move, this should be an exciting time in our lives, but in reality we are always too worried about everyone else to actually enjoy it. I am starting to live on aspirin again, which of course tears my stomach up. I want to be happy. I don’t want drama. I hate drama!

Oh great, I just got off the phone AGAIN and now people are threatening each other with the police. What the heck is wrong with you people????

I am 1000 (ONE THOUSAND) miles away. I can’t DO anything!!!!!!
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