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The life of a porn addicted housewife.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Strange Florida Laws 

1. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
(Ummmm.....ok, I'll try to remember that.)
2. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
(That's not fair, I've seen some of the trannies and they are gorgeous!)
3. When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
4. You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
(How about you don't fart in public EVER?)
5. Persons may not appear in public clothed in liquid latex. (Satellite Beach)
(Liquid latex covers up more than most bathing suits.)
6. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
(Wonder if someone's hair caught on fire in the past?)
7. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
(Especially if it's Opera!)
8. It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline. (Cape Coral)
(Snooty people!)
9. A $50 fine will be levied on anyone who allows a couch to sit in their carport. (Cape Coral)
(Cape Coral and I would NOT get along!)
10. Torpedoes may not be set off in the city. (Destin)
(Well why not???)
11. Chickens are considered a 'protected species'. (Key West)
(Sounds stupid, but protects them from Satanic Rituals.)
12. Persons may not tow a sled behind their bicycles. (Palm Bay)
(Of course not, it would cause sparks because we never have snow here!)
13. Oral sex is illegal.
(Poor Ap0k, he will be so sad.)
14. You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
(OK, now I am sad!)
15. Florida law forbids rats to leave the ships docked in Tampa Bay.
(Since I live about 3 miles from the docks, I like this law!)
16. It's illegal in Florida for an unmarried man and woman to live together in "open and gross lewdness."
(Who defines gross lewdness is what I want to know.)
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