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The life of a porn addicted housewife.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Idiots, They Are Closer Than You Think 

I should be allowed to either scream at, or slap upside the head, any person that I feel is a complete pain in the ass.
Whether it is the brain dead cashier at the 7-11, the person who cuts me completely off in traffic, the neighbors who yell at each other on a daily basis, or even the “better than you” woman with the screaming kid at the bookstore. All of these people need a good whack in the head.

Let’s start with my neighbors. I have two sets of screamers within ear distance of my carport. A few months ago the crabby lady who lived next door to us finally kicked the bucket. When we first moved in about 12 years ago she took an immediate dislike to us. I didn’t take it personally because she hated everyone. She was mean and nasty and though I feel bad that she died, I really don’t miss her. About a month or so ago an older couple moved in to her house. These people yell at each other constantly. I think that one or both of them may be hard of hearing, but that doesn’t excuse the nasty way they shout. The lady calls her husband an idiot (at top volume) quite often. Today she was working in the yard and he came out to tell her that her doctor had called and she needed to call him back. Seems like a reasonable topic of conversation now doesn’t it? Noooo!!!!! She ended up screaming at him that he was an idiot for not getting the details from the doctor on the phone. He tried (loudly) to explain that it was a message on the answering machine and he never actually spoke to the doctor, but that pissed her off even worse. She told him he was lazy and good for nothing because he didn’t answer the phone. Then HE started yelling that she needed to get her ass in the house and call the doctor because he had other things he needed to do. Then she threw a handful of dirt at him and stomped off. Now keep in mind that all of this went on while I was standing less than 5 feet from them on the other side of the fence. They paid me no mind at all while they were yelling at each other; in fact I doubt they even remembered I was standing there even though I had JUST been talking to her when he came outside. I can’t even begin to imagine Ap0k and I talking to each other like that! My heart would snap right in two if she screamed at me.
Now we move on to screaming family number two. These people live catty-corner to us on the corner. Not only do they scream at each other, but all of their friends seem to be screamers too. I have never seen people argue so much in my life. Granted alcohol is usually involved in these shouting matches. Actually I don’t mind these people near as bad because their episodes tend to be amusing. One night there was a guy over there shouting to the world that he is gay and he was born that way and no one can make him change. Or the guy who likes to talk (LOUDLY) about the fact that he was in the British Military and that he can kill a man without you seeing him move. Granted this guy got his ass beat by someone much smaller than him just recently. The daughter and one of her multitudes of boyfriends always end up in screaming matches with the dad. Sometimes it gets so bad that the dad calls the police and has her arrested. The funny part of that is that about 2 hours later he’s the one that goes and bails her out.
All of my other neighbors are extremely quiet. You don’t even know they are there most of the time. Sometimes on the weekends one guy plays Latin music pretty loudly while he works outside, but that doesn’t annoy me in the slightest.

Another thing that I find to be a complete pain in the ass is people who allow their children to scream bloody murder in public.
When I was at Barnes&Noble the other day there was one of those stuck up “I am better than you” type women there. She was pushing a stroller with two kids in it. One was about 3 and the younger one was about 2. The younger kid was in a foul mood for some reason and was reaching out and snatching books off the shelves and then throwing them on the floor. You would have expected the mom to pick them up wouldn’t you? Nope, she just kicked them to the side and moved on. The kid kept getting worse and worse until he started screaming like someone was jabbing him with a fork. Did the mom do anything? Nope, she just ignored him. Once in awhile she would go “hush” while not even looking at him. Everyone in the store was getting angry. The kid got louder and louder and then started throwing himself around in the stroller. I was honestly afraid he was going to hurt himself. It got so bad that they actually turned the music up in the store to try and drown him out. The poor older child was looking at the younger one like he had lost his mind. How can you allow your children to act that way? My daughter was with me and as you know she is pregnant. I used this as a perfect opportunity to let her know that this was NOT proper child rearing in the slightest. I told her if she ever allowed anything like that to go on I would personally kick her butt!
There was another lady (note that I call this one a lady) who had a little girl with her, and the girl was getting fussy. The lady stopped what she was doing immediately, looked at the girl and said “What’s that smell?” The little girl stopped fussing and looked at her mom in surprise. The little girl said “what is it?” and her mom said “I smell cookies!”
Well that was the end of that little girl’s troubles. Her mom told her that if she was good they would get a cookie on the way out. She was a perfect angel the rest of the time they were in the store. Now THAT is how you handle a fussy child in public.
People like the first woman totally amaze me. How can you tolerate that behavior in a child? Wasn’t she embarrassed? I would have died if my daughter had ever acted like that in public. Even if you aren’t embarrassed, how can you listen to it? I have no tolerance for screaming children.

These are just a few of the people that I think need a good smack upside the head. Use the sense you were born with. It’s not hard to act like a normal human being. Stop and think about how the people around you are seeing you. Do you really want people to think you are an idiot?
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