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The life of a porn addicted housewife.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

4 Pounds Down! 

My diet seems to be going well. I have lost 4 pounds since Monday morning. I know that most if not all of it is water weight, but hey, it’s a start!
I have been trying not to sit here at my desk all day. Every afternoon I have gone out and raked my ass off for 2 hours. I have literally raked the skin on my hands off. Ap0k made me go get gloves today. I think my hands are grossing him out.
My neighbors probably think I have lost my mind. First I started killing my yard and now I am raking it all up. It looked so nice before, but now that we have put the weed killer down it looks awful. There are big brown patches everywhere. Even the spots that do have real grass are thin. Oh well, in the end it will be pretty!
I think that once I get it all raked and before I put the grass seed down I will pressure wash the house and paint it. My main problem with that is I have no idea how much paint I will need. How do you figure that out? Hopefully Ap0k knows.

I have decided that for now instead of an exercise routine I will just try to work around the house and the yard. My problem is that I get bored easily. I prefer to move from project to project so that when I am done at the end of the day I see a finished product. When I’ve worked that hard I have to see a difference immediately. The project doesn’t have to be complete of course, but I do have to see progress.

Some of you may wonder why I have become so adamant about losing weight all of a sudden. It hit me HARD the other day that next month I will be turning 40. I don’t want to be old, fat, and out of shape! I don’t want Ap0k to look at me and not think of me as he always has. While yes he does see me through rose colored glasses, that could change if I let myself go too far. It would break my heart to find out he thought I looked bad! I know he thinks I weigh too much, though he has never REALLY said it out loud. I have gotten the hint though. I understand though, I can see in the mirror that I don’t look like I used to. My weight started to bother me really bad because Ap0k goes to the gym almost every day. He looks fabulous. I can’t let myself get fat and yucky when he looks this good!

Ap0k is supporting me fully in my efforts. I work in the yard in the afternoon until he comes home. By then I am sweaty dirty mess. The last two nights he has fixed dinner so that I could cool off and shower. I do want to thank him for helping me. I am going to need his support because I am such a food addict. The hardest part is going to be not eating a “snack” right before bed. That has always been my weakest point.

My daughter is afraid I am going to stop eating entirely. Every day she makes me tell her exactly what I have eaten. I am not planning on NOT eating; I am trying to eat LESS. I am trying to stop when I am not hungry anymore. Eating until I am full is not what I want. I also know that I couldn’t just stop eating because I like food way too much.

Speaking of food, I am cooking some chicken now to go with dinner later. It is torturing me because it smells so good!
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