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The life of a porn addicted housewife.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Dear Mother Nature 

Dear Mother Nature,
We get the point!
You think we need more water in our aquifer don’t you? Well I guess on that count I can agree with you. You sure have made this a dreary week. It’s been hard to plan anything when you have made it rain off and on all day every day this week. Every time I think it’s safe to mow the lawn, WHOOSH, here comes the rain again.
Thank goodness the county came and cleaned out our drains! In the past every time you did this to us we had to float out of the neighborhood. In fact I will never forget the time you watered us so much that the local news channel sent a reporter and camera man into the neighborhood to take footage of the flooding. Usually you only flood us when you toss a hurricane our way. Oh, do you remember the time you teased us with Hurricane Elena in 1985? Now THAT was a lot of water! But as bad as that was, it wasn’t near as bad as The No-Name Storm you snuck in on us in 1993. You scared the daylights out of us with that one! I am thankful that our house is at the front end of our neighborhood though. I have always wondered if you have something against the people that live in the back. After the No-Name Storm, Ap0k was lucky enough to have a big old pick-up truck. He spent quite a bit of time pulling people’s cars out of the water. I do remember him stalling the truck out once though. Mother Nature, do have any idea how hard it is to push a ’66 Chevy pick-up through a flood?
After last season’s hurricane season, I am terrified of what you are going to do to Florida this year. Last year I started working the cleanup after Hurricane Charley. Before we could even make a dent in the mess you tossed Hurricane Frances at us. Just when we thought things couldn’t get any worse you decided that Hurricane Ivan needed to pay us a visit. Mother Nature, was it REALLY necessary to send Hurricane Jeanne here too? Do you realize the destruction you caused? Do you realize how many lives you destroyed?
I bet that after 4.5 billion years of tending to our weather you are probably becoming bored with your job. I hope you know how much we appreciate everything that you do for us. Even though you send us bad weather now and then, for the most part you give us just the right amount of rain and sunshine that we need. I wouldn’t want your job for all the money in the world!

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