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The life of a porn addicted housewife.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Slap These People 

The following people need to be slapped upside the head really hard:

1. The person who invented Fruity Pebbles. Those sweet little flakes of fruity goodness keep calling my name. I want them for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert. And they are all my favorite colors too.
2. Movie “Re-Makers”. There are far too many movies being remade these days that really shouldn’t be. Herbie has been done to death. Do we really need another Amityville? And don’t get me started on these movie remakes of old tired TV shows. Starsky and Hutch, please how stupid can you get? Now we get to watch a lame remake of Miami Vice. And for the love of God please someone tell me WHY they are remaking Dallas into a movie? What’s really sad, and I know this is why a lot of movies are remade, is that so many younger people don’t even know that they are watching remakes. It kills my daughter and my little sister when I point out that the movie they want to see is another remake. I tell them that they are the cause of the decline in movie writing quality.
3. Bubblegum Pop singers. I know, I know, there is a market for this type of music. 10-14 year old girls have to be able to spend their allowances on something.
4. Email spammers and phishers. If I want to visit a porn site I can find one faster than I can read your email. My bank doesn’t even have my email address. My ebay account is not listed under my yahoo email. And no, I will not help you transfer money to this country because I am the only surviving relative. Are people really stupid enough to fall for this crap? Sadly yes they are. What a shame.
5. Romance novelists. What a sheer waste of paper. I can’t fathom liking books like this. Most are nothing more than softcore porn, written for women who need a little spice in their life. Again, I know there is a market for this, but women, wake up, this is trash!
6. Men who wear make-up. Men, eyeliner in NOT for you! On AI tonight Constantine had on more eyeliner than 10 women put together would. I understand the whole base makeup to make you look better on TV thing, but when they go into heavy eyeliner, and heavy lipstick, well that is just gross. I am not only speaking of men on TV, I am also meaning your everyday guy too. I saw a guy at WalMart the other day that had more makeup on than a 70 year old grandma. It was hysterical. I even saw another guy stop dead in his tracks and laugh right out loud at him, which of course made me laugh too. I felt bad for laughing at the guy, but hey, if you leave the house like that, then you take your chances.
7. While on the topic of makeup, I will add women who wear more makeup than a clown. What are you trying to hide? When I see a woman with three inches of caked, cracking making it just makes my stomach turn. Don’t you realize how silly you look? Don’t you realize that you would look so much nicer with less, or maybe even no, makeup on? You probably don’t.
8. Michael Jackson. The more I hear, the more I detest you! I hope they put you in general population. Not that that will ever happen, but it sure is a great thought.
9. The makers of the roll-over ads on Yahoo. If I had contemplated clicking on your ad I would immediately change my mind when I try to get to the scroll bar and when I slide by your ad it covers up most of the page. The closest thing to pop-ups going. I hate them! I will never have anything to do with Treo just because your ads piss me off so bad! They are on the side of almost every story today and you can’t get to the scroll bar without rolling over them. GRRRRR!!!!!!!
10. Me. Because I just wasted your time with this drivle.
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